The economy is in free fall, the same group of idiots that foisted Bush on us these last eight years are threatening to do the same with McCain and Palin and I'm not sure I'll be able to sell my co-op at a profit next year when I have to go house hunting. These are just some of the troubling things I know and compartmentalize somewhere deep in my subconscious so that I can function. I don't let them eat at me...or so I thought.
Today, I came to work with a chip on my shoulder the size of a Hummer. I didn't even realize it was there until I had to deal with the routine foolishness perpetrated by my coworkers, stuff I typically ignore. Today, all of a sudden, I had had enough.
I didn't do anything unseemly. There was no shouting or theatrics. I simply released a salvo of pointed comments that left nothing to the imagination for their targets. I exposed just enough of the stuff that drives me to give people pause for thought, and new reasons to dislike me. None of this is important at all; workplace politics are inevitable. The question is why did this happen? What drove me to coolly insult people I normally disregard? After spending much of my day pondering my own odd behavior and reorganizing my desk, it dawned on me...it's the economy, stupid, and soooo much more. I'm under tremendous pressure, and I'm afraid it may be reaching critical mass. Something's gotta give, but damned if it's gonna be me.
I'll go home and sleep it off. I'll go in tomorrow and be my robotic self. But it won't be the same anymore. People will know that I'm feeling pressure. That's OK, though. At least now, I know I'm feeling it, too.
