It's about 7:30 AM and I'm sitting here thinking about everything I want for us and how to go about getting it. I am primed to do this, but there is much organization and planning that needs to happen first. I struggle daily to apply forethought to the intermittent but powerful impulses that drive me. A person possessed of great energy and determination who learns to effectively plan how best to channel her or his efforts is the definition of "self-made".
Assessment of Current Condition:
I am 43. Not old by today's standards, but I'm no kid. I see the changes in my face, the bulge at my waistline. I am a middle-aged man. Younger people are assuming positions of power and because I don't share their value system or move in their social circles, I am less likely to matter to them. In the eyes of such people, with each passing day, I am more of a relic. This means that a part-time seasonal job at some big-box store is not a viable option for me, not that I wanted to do that anyway. Moreover, I have a fairly unique skill set. I am as handy with a laptop as I am with a drill, but I lack experience working professionally with my hands and while my computer skills fetch a good wage, this sluggish economy does not favor freelancers.
Whatever, which I use in the determined sense of the word rather than the apathetic. Why? Because for people like me, life is a perpetual obstacle course and, I'm almost sorry to say, we get our jollies
running over each one. I just don't care what it takes, my family will have theirs.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The American Presidency: Obama's Thankless Task
Let's not kid ourselves about why so many people hate Barack Obama.
Regardless of the good he does, the good he wants to do or how he carries himself, he is the first American of African descent to be elected president of the United States. Arguably the most powerful man in the world is *gasp* black.
Many who have grown up in households and neighborhoods where minorities washed the cars, mowed the lawns, scrubbed the toilets then scurried elsewhere at sundown are simply unaccustomed to, and often unaccepting of, the idea that someone they see as little more than the audacious offspring of a domestic might be sitting in the White House. Pow, booyah, bing, eureka and case closed, no matter how his detractors try to sugarcoat it, regardless of how right-wing media tries to spin it. Any person who has ever been the object of hate for hate's sake understands this intuitively.
Is this merely the opinion of a plebeian with a limited understanding of the world in which he lives? Perhaps, but I can write the following with total conviction: I have seen first hand that there are plenty of whites, though definitely not all, who, when encountered with a capable person of color, seem somehow threatened. In the context of collaboration, whether subconsciously or not, they seem to actively undermine such a person. Why? For the simple fact that, for many whites worldwide, the idea that a person of African descent can be her/his intellectual peer -- or even superior -- is folly unworthy of articulation. And it isn't their fault. They are simply working off of an old playbook passed down through the generations -- not unlike Jews and Arabs, Sikhs and Muslims or Tsutsis and Hutus.
Yes, the race issue in America is right up there with the world's longest standing feuds based more on the human capacity for such foolishness than any real differences between those engaged in the conflicts. Likewise, the race issue in America may never be completely sorted out; I fear there may always be parties on either side of the racial divide who, for whatever reasons, cannot fully let this sad thing die a long overdue and undignified death.
In the context of such struggles, to hope or suggest that people simply wake up one day and turn their backs on ingrained hatred of others that is almost part and parcel of their ethnic identity is the real folly. A better strategy for capable people of color is to continue to defy odds and expectations, to thrive where others expect them to fail.
Doing as much is not just cathartic for those driven to live up to their potential, it's beneficial to the greater society, which brings me back to my original point: The fools who cannot bear the thought of a successful Obama presidency and work feverishly to block him at every pass ultimately hinder the progress of us ALL.
Think of the energy and time wasted by these people that could be better spent fixing what ails America. It's simple: When people on either side of an impasse work toward a resolution, it's one thing for the sides to contentiously seek compromise, but entirely another for one side to block the progress of ALL by refusing to concede anything.
It's clear that many rich, influential people figure Obama's seemingly populist agenda threatens to break their stranglehold on the finer things in life. It only makes sense that they would fight to maintain the status quo. Many may feel they are sitting on enough to ride out the tide of another election, another muddled transition of power and another shock to an already battered economy. What they misunderstand is that their dogged efforts to exclude all comers from the kind of lifestyle that most only aspire to breeds in others the kind of seething resentment that fuels revolutions. And I have news for them: They are hopelessly outnumbered. Just as Custer learned too late at Little Bighorn, there comes a time when arrogance must yield to good common sense.
So block away, a-holes. Throw all kinds of mud at Obama to see what sticks, though nothing has yet. Then, after your herculean efforts to obfuscate any positive achievements of the Obama administration have paid off, usher into the White House some spokesperson who better fits your image of the American presidency. He or she will look and sound great while saying nothing, and accomplishing even less. At the end of the day, when you're on your therapists' couches trying to work out why your kids left Harvard to Occupy Wall Street and hate you even more than you hate Obama, you can parrot that rubbish about fighting to preserve "core American values" as the rest of the country suffered terribly for want of progress -- and the world moved on.
Regardless of the good he does, the good he wants to do or how he carries himself, he is the first American of African descent to be elected president of the United States. Arguably the most powerful man in the world is *gasp* black.
Many who have grown up in households and neighborhoods where minorities washed the cars, mowed the lawns, scrubbed the toilets then scurried elsewhere at sundown are simply unaccustomed to, and often unaccepting of, the idea that someone they see as little more than the audacious offspring of a domestic might be sitting in the White House. Pow, booyah, bing, eureka and case closed, no matter how his detractors try to sugarcoat it, regardless of how right-wing media tries to spin it. Any person who has ever been the object of hate for hate's sake understands this intuitively.
Is this merely the opinion of a plebeian with a limited understanding of the world in which he lives? Perhaps, but I can write the following with total conviction: I have seen first hand that there are plenty of whites, though definitely not all, who, when encountered with a capable person of color, seem somehow threatened. In the context of collaboration, whether subconsciously or not, they seem to actively undermine such a person. Why? For the simple fact that, for many whites worldwide, the idea that a person of African descent can be her/his intellectual peer -- or even superior -- is folly unworthy of articulation. And it isn't their fault. They are simply working off of an old playbook passed down through the generations -- not unlike Jews and Arabs, Sikhs and Muslims or Tsutsis and Hutus.
Yes, the race issue in America is right up there with the world's longest standing feuds based more on the human capacity for such foolishness than any real differences between those engaged in the conflicts. Likewise, the race issue in America may never be completely sorted out; I fear there may always be parties on either side of the racial divide who, for whatever reasons, cannot fully let this sad thing die a long overdue and undignified death.
In the context of such struggles, to hope or suggest that people simply wake up one day and turn their backs on ingrained hatred of others that is almost part and parcel of their ethnic identity is the real folly. A better strategy for capable people of color is to continue to defy odds and expectations, to thrive where others expect them to fail.
Doing as much is not just cathartic for those driven to live up to their potential, it's beneficial to the greater society, which brings me back to my original point: The fools who cannot bear the thought of a successful Obama presidency and work feverishly to block him at every pass ultimately hinder the progress of us ALL.
Think of the energy and time wasted by these people that could be better spent fixing what ails America. It's simple: When people on either side of an impasse work toward a resolution, it's one thing for the sides to contentiously seek compromise, but entirely another for one side to block the progress of ALL by refusing to concede anything.
It's clear that many rich, influential people figure Obama's seemingly populist agenda threatens to break their stranglehold on the finer things in life. It only makes sense that they would fight to maintain the status quo. Many may feel they are sitting on enough to ride out the tide of another election, another muddled transition of power and another shock to an already battered economy. What they misunderstand is that their dogged efforts to exclude all comers from the kind of lifestyle that most only aspire to breeds in others the kind of seething resentment that fuels revolutions. And I have news for them: They are hopelessly outnumbered. Just as Custer learned too late at Little Bighorn, there comes a time when arrogance must yield to good common sense.
So block away, a-holes. Throw all kinds of mud at Obama to see what sticks, though nothing has yet. Then, after your herculean efforts to obfuscate any positive achievements of the Obama administration have paid off, usher into the White House some spokesperson who better fits your image of the American presidency. He or she will look and sound great while saying nothing, and accomplishing even less. At the end of the day, when you're on your therapists' couches trying to work out why your kids left Harvard to Occupy Wall Street and hate you even more than you hate Obama, you can parrot that rubbish about fighting to preserve "core American values" as the rest of the country suffered terribly for want of progress -- and the world moved on.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The Meltdown in Midtown: Autopsy
Once I hit the street, not even the heat and humidity of August in New York could diminish the sense of relief that washed over me. For sure, I am NEVER happy to walk away from money, but we were simply not paid enough to justify the shit we had to take from these schmucks and their dopey minions, nor the damage being done to our family.
Our working relationship with them lies before us on the slab. Let's make with the scalpel and examine the evidence.
Foremost, our children were suffering for lack of attention. Wifey and I had morphed from "two" parents into "too" parents: "Too" busy, "too" tired, "too" stressed and "too" damned lazy to do anything or, to be fair, as much as we thought we should be doing with our kids.
Then, there was the neglect of our home. There were weeks we'd be so busy we couldn't even manage to clean our bathroom. The hard water stains around the toilet bowl might as well have been drawn with a Sharpie. The kitchen? Like a meth lab from an episode of Cops. The kids' room? Buried under a foot of debris. The great room? Enough crumbs under the dining table to put out on a tray as hors d'oeuvres, papers piled sky-high on the desk and dust bunnies had colonized the area rug.
[Disclaimer: Wifey has gone on record as being firmly opposed to the posting of the above characterizations, but I figure they're just too funny to not share.]
Then there was the damage Wifey and I sustained as individuals and as a couple: the stress, the bad eating habits, the missed exercise and the deficits of energy and time we had to devote to each other.
Then, of course, there was THEM: The twin ulcers. Where to start? Suffice to say they lack insight, they lack foresight, hell, they even lack hindsight. Though they have managed to maintain an office and pay the salaries of a staff for several years, to watch them in action, one has to wonder if it's by accident.
The two biggest issues I have with them? Their senses of entitlement and almost pathological need to be dominant over me. I can deal with that type of testosterone-driven foolishness over the phone, but I can't have some egomaniacal asshole draped over my shoulder to show every one that he's The Big Boss Man while I'm trying to get some work done. I mean, how simple is it: We're good at what we do, we're proven at what we do, right now, you can't do what we do, so go do what you do and let us do what we do.
For the relative security of two monthly checks that were a fraction of what they should have been and the convenience of working from home, Wifey and I allowed ourselves to be led astray. Even if the pay was better, it's clear we would have lost far more than we ever stood to gain had we continued.
The cause of death? Sheer hubris.
These saps had gone all in to grow this business. To their credit, their sales guys developed the leads, made the calls and snared the clients, but Wifey and I DID THE WORK. Anywhere. Any time. West Street at rush hour. New Year's Day during a blizzard. On vacation in Puerto Rico. Waiting in the emergency room with our children when they both had stomach flu. And through it all, Wifey and I understood that growing a business requires that kind of sacrifice. We didn't gripe. We persevered. Ultimately, that wasn't enough.
Once Frick and Frack had finally built a decent client base on our sweat, they got carried away with themselves. They figured they had me by the bolitas because we are buying a house. They swore to God that we couldn't afford to just walk away. To their way of thinking, two and a half years of work counted for dick, all because Wifey and I prioritized buying a home over showing up at their shitty little office for a few days in August.
I'm glad they overplayed a weak hand. Their misreading and mishandling of the situation may ultimately have saved our family, or at least a few years of our lives. The pressure they tried to exert was that serious. And it backfired on them.
It's all over now. I wish them all the best. As for Wifey and I, we have other plans.
Our working relationship with them lies before us on the slab. Let's make with the scalpel and examine the evidence.
Foremost, our children were suffering for lack of attention. Wifey and I had morphed from "two" parents into "too" parents: "Too" busy, "too" tired, "too" stressed and "too" damned lazy to do anything or, to be fair, as much as we thought we should be doing with our kids.
Then, there was the neglect of our home. There were weeks we'd be so busy we couldn't even manage to clean our bathroom. The hard water stains around the toilet bowl might as well have been drawn with a Sharpie. The kitchen? Like a meth lab from an episode of Cops. The kids' room? Buried under a foot of debris. The great room? Enough crumbs under the dining table to put out on a tray as hors d'oeuvres, papers piled sky-high on the desk and dust bunnies had colonized the area rug.
[Disclaimer: Wifey has gone on record as being firmly opposed to the posting of the above characterizations, but I figure they're just too funny to not share.]
Then there was the damage Wifey and I sustained as individuals and as a couple: the stress, the bad eating habits, the missed exercise and the deficits of energy and time we had to devote to each other.
Then, of course, there was THEM: The twin ulcers. Where to start? Suffice to say they lack insight, they lack foresight, hell, they even lack hindsight. Though they have managed to maintain an office and pay the salaries of a staff for several years, to watch them in action, one has to wonder if it's by accident.
The two biggest issues I have with them? Their senses of entitlement and almost pathological need to be dominant over me. I can deal with that type of testosterone-driven foolishness over the phone, but I can't have some egomaniacal asshole draped over my shoulder to show every one that he's The Big Boss Man while I'm trying to get some work done. I mean, how simple is it: We're good at what we do, we're proven at what we do, right now, you can't do what we do, so go do what you do and let us do what we do.
For the relative security of two monthly checks that were a fraction of what they should have been and the convenience of working from home, Wifey and I allowed ourselves to be led astray. Even if the pay was better, it's clear we would have lost far more than we ever stood to gain had we continued.
The cause of death? Sheer hubris.
These saps had gone all in to grow this business. To their credit, their sales guys developed the leads, made the calls and snared the clients, but Wifey and I DID THE WORK. Anywhere. Any time. West Street at rush hour. New Year's Day during a blizzard. On vacation in Puerto Rico. Waiting in the emergency room with our children when they both had stomach flu. And through it all, Wifey and I understood that growing a business requires that kind of sacrifice. We didn't gripe. We persevered. Ultimately, that wasn't enough.
Once Frick and Frack had finally built a decent client base on our sweat, they got carried away with themselves. They figured they had me by the bolitas because we are buying a house. They swore to God that we couldn't afford to just walk away. To their way of thinking, two and a half years of work counted for dick, all because Wifey and I prioritized buying a home over showing up at their shitty little office for a few days in August.
I'm glad they overplayed a weak hand. Their misreading and mishandling of the situation may ultimately have saved our family, or at least a few years of our lives. The pressure they tried to exert was that serious. And it backfired on them.
It's all over now. I wish them all the best. As for Wifey and I, we have other plans.
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